


One Blessedly Normal Sun

by regnantqueen



Series: Fatt Femslash Week 2019 [1]
Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, FatT Femslash Week, FatT Femslash Week 2019, Spoilers for Winter in Hieron 29: Slow Justice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 07:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19329889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regnantqueen/pseuds/regnantqueen
Summary: The sun rises over Hieron and over Adaire's heart.





	One Blessedly Normal Sun

**Author's Note:**

> My first story on ao3 ever, for FatT Femslash week! Truly we live in the golden age of FatT Femslash. Spoilers for Spring in Hieron 29 and 31.

The chain of events that will lead to the moment begins when Adaire looks up and sees the Solarch impaled on Hella’s sword. It’s impressive and it brings an intense rush of emotions: triumph, wonder, admiration, relief. And yes, one part of her brain is idly turning over the old fantasy; this time she pictures them back at the tavern tonight. _Good work today,_ she’d tell Hella. _You’re_ so _strong._ And Hella would blush; maybe she’d already have had a few drinks, and she’d lean forward to whisper something. Adaire will figure out what later, probably in the privacy of her bed. She relishes detail.

But that isn’t _the_ moment. Adaire has seen Hella win fights before, and the idle daydreaming is a habit at this point. Her attention is divided as another part of her brain starts asking questions, posing hypotheticals. _Callowkeen could follow the dragon—too dangerous? If we find it, we can’t fight it. Contain it? Lead it somewhere?_ “The tactician,” Red Jack called her, and he isn’t wrong.

Another moment, a bigger moment, comes when Hella tells her and Lem what they didn’t see during that fight. How Hella lost and died on the Solarch’s sword, and Samat turned back time over and over again, letting Hella die on that evil blade over and over again, taking more of the Heat and the Dark inside of her each time. How Hella is going to die for real, soon, eaten from the inside.

Lem starts talking, of course, which for once Adaire appreciates because it means she can mostly stay quiet and try to understand why she feels hollow and far away, understand why every sound is suddenly torture, understand the odd tightness in her chest. But she can’t do it, not right then on that sunny morning in that grassy field. That isn’t the moment either.

The moment is a full day later. The others are due back soon, the diplomatic mission to Alcyon, and she contemplates this as she rises from bed, draws back the curtains. The sun is just rising, one blessedly normal sun still low and glowing orange on the horizon, beautiful. And seeing it catches that new thing in Adaire’s chest, that strange constriction, just so, and tears form in her eye, because she has always lacked a true connection but in that moment - _the_ moment - she knows she loves Hella. There is no room for thoughts, or plans, or consequences, just a full and complete knowledge of how beautiful and right Hella is, of how beautiful and right Adaire’s feelings are.

It doesn’t make anything ok; in many ways, it makes things worse. But that instant, that sunrise over Hieron and Adaire’s heart, hurts so much and is also the best thing that’s ever happened to her.

She had told Rix and Roe she’d be back this morning to keep working on repairs to their home, and she goes, eventually. But first she makes a cup of tea and sits down at a table and writes in her diary, because she needs to.

When she finishes the entry, she stands up and goes and doesn’t even close the notebook. It’s not like her, but it’s safe enough here, and she wants to move, to leave these feelings behind for a little while so she can get used to them. But she takes the time to re-read her last words once more before she does.

_Hella has seen me at my best and my worst. I will not let her doubt my devotion._


End file.
